Riding the waves... depth, soul and some funk...

Body surfing the waves darlings has been a lesson and you know mother nature wins...

I am a passionate charismatic person whom loves life and is so blessed...

I have been diving deep into the waters of life and my soul ....

but got into a funk...

The kind of winter funk that gets to most of us the kind of funk that you tell your
self is not fair and you wish it would just go away... But I have also been under the weather... :( for sometime...

Thank you to all my beautiful friends and especially to my Love for standing by me while I am sick and tired and healthy and strong ...

Now its time to get on with it ...

I'm back with a vengeance

FUCK IT!!!

Vote For Change!!!!!

I can't Vote here yet!!!! One Day though!!!!

DO IT!!!!!!!

Please...

My New York

My New York is...
subways,getting on the rails the wrong direction,the archives of your mind opening up and breathing ,
relenting,passion,exposure,over exposure,under exposure,riding waves,wanting to see waves,the park,iced coffee,gourmet food that costs to much,poverty,wealth,reaching,reveling,music,beauty,purity,breathing,sharing,exploring,staying air conditioning , moisture,smells,p b and j, ,rising up ,unity,oneness,garbage, photos ,friends,stoops,smoking to many delicious cigarettes, a billion overheard conversations on the subway or in the streets ,sirens, taxis, takeout, staying in , parties, working, loving, being lost in crowds,missing people,being content, communication, pearls, clothes, high heels and blisters, walking,sultry heat,loving you & being loved back ,first times finances,being alive ,being me,rewards,future,art,photography,living life watching others have joy,sorrow,pain,...imperfections that are perfect ,,architecture,getting involved,learning,being still,healing,making way for so much more,pushing on when you are sleepy,smiling,discovering you can cry,realizations,expectations,making love in the blue light of the morning ,Chinese laundry,talking till its 11 am,profoundness,privacy being utterly cherished,spaces, dusty baseboards everywhere ,filthy club washrooms and the surprise i feel when they are clean.

to be continued...

be nice

just be nice you don't know the kind of day someone has had .........
maybe they want to smile but just can't ,maybe they are hungry or sick maybe
just maybe they have a broken heart or they just need a smile to make them feel welcomed....

be nice

who are they really?

People who say and do things to be self serving out right denying the facts before them or others or to manipulate and use someone for thrills , money,control or adventure either by way of making them feel special and unique while doing the same with others or maliciously tricking them in to feeling safe when they have no intention of providing that..... has somewhat tainted my trusting nature ....LUCKILY.... I have someone who has been making me feel special unique, loved and safe for the last year and I believe him,

In Review

This question who are you?


Posed in a much more seductive and eloquent way but this was my response last fall the only thing I would add to it is that I find lies and dis-honesty ,betrayal to be unforgivable.... going through an awful divorce finding out these things , knowing them actually and having been betrayed over and over again repulses me.....

Moving forward ....thankfully I don't have this problem any longer...



Tuesday, September 11, 2007


response

i am a contradiction.......
lover,fighter and peacemaker .I am a friend an artist a loving & fun mother.My memories are priceless and will keep company when I grow old.
I am a dreamer, thinker,a sensual being that longs for nature and nurture,touch smell and taste .I love the way the garden reveals miracles each season and I get to play. I can argue .I am passionate about love and life and I wake up wanting more everyday.... I want and I need sunshine and rain, I worry, I am honest and silly. I am hungry and thirsty for knowledge & experience(s). I can be lonely in a room full of people. I am unique and special, I am important and insignificant too.I love deeply,fully and almost unconditionally :),my soul is awake my spirit sings when I create. I walk with each of you I am human........ I am incapable of hate but capable of intense dislike,don't lie to me, cheat on me or steal from me just ask...
I will help you up and if you hurt me I might push you away.I can be a bitch,I like to talk, I love silence, music makes me happy and feeds me when nothing else will,I dance for fun and always will.I am spiritual,I love home..... .I love warm flicker of fire and enjoy living lights( candles )each day ,I cry in the shower, i bathe away anger,i love clean,clutter aggravates me, i love the warmth of breath and the way the wind teases the leaves on each tree,i am here and I will be gone one day.I am impatient and and patient too. I have a sense of humor.I want to be liked, I want to remain humble and giving i don't want to be abandoned,shamed or forgotten,my spelling is horrible .I need to express myself,reflect and share....... I am learning about me everyday and this is some of who I am so far.........
fleurs
wow trying to flow with the thoughts as they come and try to say it all with out putting it into order

baby always...

How to say I Love You in 100 Languages

English - I love you
Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
Albanian - Te dua
Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
Armenian - Yes kez sirumem
Bambara - M'bi fe
Bengali - Ami tomake bhalobashi (pronounced: Amee toe-ma-kee bhalo-bashee)
Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bulgarian - Obicham te
Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
Catalan - T'estimo
Cherokee - Tsi ge yu i
Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
Chinese
Cantonese - Ngo oiy ney a
Mandarin - Wo ai ni
Comanche - U kamakutu nu
(pronounced oo----ka-ma-koo-too-----nu) -- Thx Tony
Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
Cree - Kisakihitin
Creol - Mi aime jou
Croatian - Volim te
Czech - Miluji te
Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Elvish - Amin mela lle (from The Lord of The Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien)
Esperanto - Mi amas vin
Estonian - Ma armastan sind
Ethiopian - Afgreki'
Faroese - Eg elski teg

Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
Frisian - Ik hald fan dy
Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
Georgian - Mikvarhar
German - Ich liebe dich
Greek - S'agapo
Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian - Aloha Au Ia`oe
Hebrew
To female - "ani ohev otach" (said by male) "ohevet Otach" (said by female)
To male - "ani ohev otcha" (said by male) "Ohevet ot'cha" (said by female)
Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw
Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta
Hungarian - Szeretlek
Icelandic - Eg elska tig
Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
Inuit - Negligevapse
Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo
Japanese - Aishiteru or Anata ga daisuki desu
Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
Korean - Sarang Heyo or Nanun tangshinul sarang hamnida
Latin - Te amo
Latvian - Es tevi miilu
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Luxembourgeois - Ech hun dech gaer
Macedonian - Te Sakam
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Maltese - Inhobbok
Marathi - Me tula prem karto
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni
Ndebele - Niyakutanda
Norwegian
Bokmaal - Jeg elsker deg
Nyonrsk - Eg elskar deg
Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian - Doo-set daaram
Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo
Romanian - Te iubesc
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Scot Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort
Serbian - Volim te
Setswana - Ke a go rata
Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing 'I Love You')
Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Sioux - Techihhila
Slovak - Lu`bim ta
Slovenian - Ljubim te
Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
Swedish - Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
Surinam - Mi lobi joe
Tagalog - Mahal kita
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
Thai
To female - Phom rak khun
To male - Chan rak khun
Informal - Rak te
Tunisian - Ha eh bak
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo
Vietnamese
To female - Anh ye^u em
To male - Em ye^u anh
Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu di
Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
Yoruba - Mo ni fe
Zazi - Ezhele hezdege
Zuni - Tom ho' ichema

La Belle Muse

A new blog with Aaron A Brooks
Creativity, Exploration & Expression

www.labellemuse.blogspot.com

randomness

Is that really a word? I think it should be if it's not..........

self portraits

I don't really know how I got started with the self portraits one day I just started shooting me! Back at it again ,I have several that came out great!Here are a couple from the other day!
Not perfect just the way I like them.

you never know ......

Ok ,I'll admit horrible shot of my work...
I still wonder sometimes where my paintings come from ... I mean I know but ... I don't...

this one is called heart @550...it is shocking to stand back a few days later and see what I was feeling on a canvass.....

Inspired by many things.... New York!!! Special moments and people
I am heading back in a few days for almost three weeks can't wait!!!!

The top photo is the frame I used to make this canvass...

NEW YORK...& Co...

In love hopelessly in love

at least it keeps me outta trouble......

Friday Night In Toronto.......

Tonight is a night for Painting...

I hope my smokes last the night I don't feel like going anywhere...

well except home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bathe in light

The skylight above the bath tub Sublime in the am...

light and shadows mixed with love

Both of these shots deserve a place of their own I'll fix it later...

it's been that kinda week!

what dosen't kill you only makes you smoke more???

Another Holiday...

Came home to find everything rearranged!!!
Punishment I suppose ... what should I expect!

I expect nothing but negativity, games and grief !!!
shame on you !!!

silence.....stings............

like a hard slap in the face.........
no talking ,no sounds , no love .........

Home/Alone !!!!!

Today I really wish I wasn't !!!!!

On a brighter note my brand new bed arrives tomorrow!!!
At least that will be sweet!!!!

New Shoes.....

Paolo Nutini - New Shoes Lyrics

Woke up cold one tuesday,
I'm looking tired and feeling quite sick,
I felt like there was something missing in my day to day life,
So I quickly opened the wardrobe,
Pulled out some jeans and a T-Shirt that seemed clean,
Topped it off with a pair of old shoes,
That were ripped around the seams,
And I thought these shoes just don't suit me.

CHORUS:
Hey, I put some new shoes on,
And suddenly everything is right,
I said, hey, I put some new shoes on and everybody's smiling,
It so inviting,
Oh, short on money,
But long on time,
Slowly strolling in the sweet sunshine,
And I'm running late,
And I dont need an excuse,
'cause I'm wearing my brand new shoes.

Woke up late one thursday,
And I'm seeing stars as I'm rubbing my eyes,
And I felt like there were two days missing,
As I focused all the time,
And I made my way to the kitchen,
But I had to stop from the shock of what I found,
A room full of all my friends dancing round and round,
And I thought hello new shoes,
Byebye them blues.

CHORUS

Take me wondering through these streets,
Where bright lights and angels meet,
Stone to stone they take me on,
I'm walking to the break of dawn. (x2)

CHORUS (x2)

Take me wondering through these streets

you know what I mean !!!!

I have been hurt the worst by those whom should have known better !!!
oddly enough today when i was shooting the camera caught me ....from behind so I got to thinking upon review!!! JERKS KISS MY ***

BTW>>>>>the batteries are fresh and the flash is ready to go sooner than usual......................

When I say kiss my ass undoubtedly if I said please .......that's a whole different storey!!!! baby ............... mmmm and fliping the bird to those whom are the real jokers....



THEME kiss my ass!!!!

Springs Breath...

Springs breath...

perspective, retrospective
dialects of pain and despair fading into the beyond.

vibrations of hope , joy, peace .....claim newly retrieved souls
depths of distance and closeness ,silence and sounds.

creation ..... inspiration
flowing montages of life and future
communication unspoken and real
confirmations and questions...discoveries unfold

sensuality reading through ...

the darkness fades into
the blue breathy morning light
haunting physical and heartfelt moments

Sunshine washes the brilliant white
of love spent ...with heat ,truth and expression
sighs reverberate small pockets of space and time
priceless , genuine.

addiction

addiction....
It has no beginning or end when you are in it...... around it, enveloped , captured by it's intensity, it is blinding, deafening and all powerful spirit killing....... it is hell .

Art Project...

hmmm heaven awaits....

As of late I have been caught between Heaven and Hell ( letting go forever the pain I carried) !!!

The Heaven that awaits is the most profound and precious heaven there is or ever will be!!!! I am alive in touch and deep.... I know where I am going ! For the first time in my life I know I am ok .... it is all ok...

My beautiful father and I had a really great conversation about space and time and energy last night!!! About my art , my writing ....and my final realisation that censoring myself for the last 20 years and stomping out my art was killing me ,my spirit and It is wonderful that I have found it again .... as a grown woman it is less complicated . I just am ,I have nothing to prove to anyone !!!

There is special energy and love and light in my life ......and I am walking towards it and not away .... never away.

He is encouraging me to leave behind the hell and take the heaven by the hand and let it lead me ... to trust it to put it out there and not worry everything will work out just fine .

Yes, My father is very cool... he would cringe at that word .... sort of a contradiction in a way because old fashioned things in his mind intermingle with new age and science..... he is a great conversationalist , brilliant and an intelligent mind , loyal and determined and most of all I love him dearly .... we and I have come such a long way!!!

Thanks to that almighty power that is in our universe ...

Ahhh motherhood!!!!

Off to europe for 2 WEEKS!I am so proud!!!

insufferable past

I have found strength through the love of my children and by looking deep within.....and one other thing ................

I find beauty and love in language written and verbally and expression....emotionally , spiritually , creatively........

the lack of words that tell someone whom loves you ,you hurt.... is profound.

moving forward

5 senses and a 6th .....

We are curious creatures ...
Space , time...........energy

Saturday Morning.....

well afternoon ........ I allowed myself to sleep .....I slept I awoke I turned over hugged my pillow and drifted back off...... Is this not part of life's joys ?

It is a right not a privilege and we all deserve it a safe quiet sleep at least a few times a week... how is another question anyone whom has the answer let me know... LOL.

I am an insomniac whom rarely sleeps ...period but there comes a point when you need to succumb for sanity for beauty and mental clarity...
Safety as well...

The warm sleepy feeling that envelopes us carries us away when we don't even realise it is happening ... pure magic and rare in my life ...

3am I found myself in a scorching hot shower washing my hair twice.... standing there and melting away the pains and aches from yesterday !!! It was a really tough day for me.

I put my best sheets on the bed they smell so lovely of fabric softener and bleach ..... white sheets only...........fresh crisp and cool.

Flannel pjs cotton tee and so sparkling clean ........ I sunk in and was carried away to dreamland and had sweet and beautiful dreams of loved ones........

Hallelujah..........

70's just like me......

I found this double v collared vintage brown leather trench with the belt!!!!!I love it.....needs a tiny bit of TLC but damn .........

I am sure it is early 70's or a little earlier.....

riding the waves ..........

It's fucking insanity around here.........

I think the treadmill at the gym cringes when I show up .....


Eyes so blue
so fucking
blue today.

Giant raindrops flow
stinging , staining faces.
hot and salty....

THOSE WORDS........what words....silence......

Hot water and soap
maybe....

crisp scent of stems
petals erase the stench of hurt

peppermint tea
freshens the lips that have kissed
dark emptiness in the past...

Overcome.........

and my little dog too.............................

ALIVE.......LIVING

The damn has broken................ Painting again.... Floral Artistry with an edge , and frigging inspiration is everywhere ................IDS this afternoon ....YES!!!!
I am going to kick some ass today........... wish me luck!!!!!

Feel like dancing......

I am feeling the flow bigtime....
what a relief....
I surrender ...

Roar....

Just one of those days........

The Rosebush ..... ( Below)

I can't wait to be gardening again ..... this is the rose bush I planted in 2000

when my beloved grandmother passed ......

she was my real mum ,she taught me so much and she truly was my best friend .....



I owe my domesticity to her........my creative spirit flows from her love....she was very independant and strong and creative.... always cleaning,cooking,decorating ....... creating and entertaining,,,she used to do ceramics .

I was blessed and fortunate that she was so willing to allow us to be apart of that ....she taught weekly classes at home in the basement I remember setting out the trays of food the cakes and the tea cups.....

I remember always getting my own little projects too..... she had her own kiln and would fire the stuff herself.... the transformation of an object that has been painted after it is fired is astounding ...fascinating to me....



I miss the tales of my father growing up in England and the stories about her nursing days........ I miss the custard and pies........ funny.... I miss her more than I miss my mother ....

what now???? oh ya work!!!

Flowers anyone.......

Naked

That bead of sweat a single one....

rolling down my back.......

exposed .......naked , energy

say my name...............say my name

take me there...

my breath leaves my body hot and sweet...

dreams painted with words....

wicked thoughts and

sensuality ....

melted, rolling divine.

hearts undone.........

A reminder

As we sit and prepare for yet another snow storm
REMEMBER SUMMER IS COMING!!!

Bliss

....... my bliss is somewhere I feel it..............

So much snow.....

There is so much snow ........It looks beautiful .......I might even make a snow angel later.................. :)

Happiness is...

Rockin Out
I am in an awesome mood, exausted & creative, working on some stuff and Have Rage Against The Machine Pumped ....... Oh YA Baby..

I almost gave up on working today...

it's so cold....

It is insanly cold minus 28 or more with the wind chill.....my studio is freezing ...completely making me not want to go out there ..............I am sleeping by the fire tonite well lately most nites ......

Anyways Today was.......stonecold.... but I feel warmer now............

Now just two things a smoke and sleep....

photography....obsession....

So I don't know if this is genetic or just contagious and I caught the illness from my Father...in anycase .... Back in the day my mother was a model...my father was /is a photographer...

...my father was introduced to her as a Photographer and the rest is history... here I be....

My father taught us about flicking and clicking whenever and appreciating and using lights available to soften the shots kleenex taped over a flash for effect etc....lol low tech and brilliant on occasion...

To improvise and look at things from many angles not the intended way...
Maybe that is where most of my Ideas come from I have a slew of shots

I want but they may always just remain an intellectual idea

not an actual shot...there is one about

Humanity versus money

I am dieing to do it's a nude but the idea it is a good one and thats all I will say .........................I still might attempt it.....


I am neither a photographer or a model although I have done a little of both...at 5.5 this chiquita did not make the cut........................

I've Been thinking....

I owe it to myself to get away for a few days... I would love a sun vacation ....drinks ,reading .....the beach and no one who knows really who I am..... just a girl ....

But I would also love to hop a train and just ride....I wonder what it would be like to sleep with the clickety clacking under my back... I wonder would I sleep or just dream day dreams the whole time...

Either way I am taking a break soon for a few days ...... what ever I end up doing It will involve some good books good wine and a whole lotta nothing in particular...

Red panties...For Luck???

Apparently so......

Yesterday was the official Chinese
New Year the beginning of the year of the Rat ...... For what it's worth thats me and yep........ damn right I wore red panties for good luck... ........I'm not messing around...........Happy New Year.



Good Night All ...... Sweet Dreams.............................................

sleeping alone ...

sleepy and resting
Sleeping alone is not so bad ....

I need a new bed a smaller one, king size just swallows me whole...

A little new lighting would not hurt either ...oh well soon ....