it's been that kinda week!

what dosen't kill you only makes you smoke more???

Another Holiday...

Came home to find everything rearranged!!!
Punishment I suppose ... what should I expect!

I expect nothing but negativity, games and grief !!!
shame on you !!!

silence.....stings............

like a hard slap in the face.........
no talking ,no sounds , no love .........

Home/Alone !!!!!

Today I really wish I wasn't !!!!!

On a brighter note my brand new bed arrives tomorrow!!!
At least that will be sweet!!!!

New Shoes.....

Paolo Nutini - New Shoes Lyrics

Woke up cold one tuesday,
I'm looking tired and feeling quite sick,
I felt like there was something missing in my day to day life,
So I quickly opened the wardrobe,
Pulled out some jeans and a T-Shirt that seemed clean,
Topped it off with a pair of old shoes,
That were ripped around the seams,
And I thought these shoes just don't suit me.

CHORUS:
Hey, I put some new shoes on,
And suddenly everything is right,
I said, hey, I put some new shoes on and everybody's smiling,
It so inviting,
Oh, short on money,
But long on time,
Slowly strolling in the sweet sunshine,
And I'm running late,
And I dont need an excuse,
'cause I'm wearing my brand new shoes.

Woke up late one thursday,
And I'm seeing stars as I'm rubbing my eyes,
And I felt like there were two days missing,
As I focused all the time,
And I made my way to the kitchen,
But I had to stop from the shock of what I found,
A room full of all my friends dancing round and round,
And I thought hello new shoes,
Byebye them blues.

CHORUS

Take me wondering through these streets,
Where bright lights and angels meet,
Stone to stone they take me on,
I'm walking to the break of dawn. (x2)

CHORUS (x2)

Take me wondering through these streets

you know what I mean !!!!

I have been hurt the worst by those whom should have known better !!!
oddly enough today when i was shooting the camera caught me ....from behind so I got to thinking upon review!!! JERKS KISS MY ***

BTW>>>>>the batteries are fresh and the flash is ready to go sooner than usual......................

When I say kiss my ass undoubtedly if I said please .......that's a whole different storey!!!! baby ............... mmmm and fliping the bird to those whom are the real jokers....



THEME kiss my ass!!!!

Springs Breath...

Springs breath...

perspective, retrospective
dialects of pain and despair fading into the beyond.

vibrations of hope , joy, peace .....claim newly retrieved souls
depths of distance and closeness ,silence and sounds.

creation ..... inspiration
flowing montages of life and future
communication unspoken and real
confirmations and questions...discoveries unfold

sensuality reading through ...

the darkness fades into
the blue breathy morning light
haunting physical and heartfelt moments

Sunshine washes the brilliant white
of love spent ...with heat ,truth and expression
sighs reverberate small pockets of space and time
priceless , genuine.

addiction

addiction....
It has no beginning or end when you are in it...... around it, enveloped , captured by it's intensity, it is blinding, deafening and all powerful spirit killing....... it is hell .

Art Project...

hmmm heaven awaits....

As of late I have been caught between Heaven and Hell ( letting go forever the pain I carried) !!!

The Heaven that awaits is the most profound and precious heaven there is or ever will be!!!! I am alive in touch and deep.... I know where I am going ! For the first time in my life I know I am ok .... it is all ok...

My beautiful father and I had a really great conversation about space and time and energy last night!!! About my art , my writing ....and my final realisation that censoring myself for the last 20 years and stomping out my art was killing me ,my spirit and It is wonderful that I have found it again .... as a grown woman it is less complicated . I just am ,I have nothing to prove to anyone !!!

There is special energy and love and light in my life ......and I am walking towards it and not away .... never away.

He is encouraging me to leave behind the hell and take the heaven by the hand and let it lead me ... to trust it to put it out there and not worry everything will work out just fine .

Yes, My father is very cool... he would cringe at that word .... sort of a contradiction in a way because old fashioned things in his mind intermingle with new age and science..... he is a great conversationalist , brilliant and an intelligent mind , loyal and determined and most of all I love him dearly .... we and I have come such a long way!!!

Thanks to that almighty power that is in our universe ...

Ahhh motherhood!!!!

Off to europe for 2 WEEKS!I am so proud!!!

insufferable past

I have found strength through the love of my children and by looking deep within.....and one other thing ................

I find beauty and love in language written and verbally and expression....emotionally , spiritually , creatively........

the lack of words that tell someone whom loves you ,you hurt.... is profound.

moving forward

5 senses and a 6th .....

We are curious creatures ...
Space , time...........energy

Saturday Morning.....

well afternoon ........ I allowed myself to sleep .....I slept I awoke I turned over hugged my pillow and drifted back off...... Is this not part of life's joys ?

It is a right not a privilege and we all deserve it a safe quiet sleep at least a few times a week... how is another question anyone whom has the answer let me know... LOL.

I am an insomniac whom rarely sleeps ...period but there comes a point when you need to succumb for sanity for beauty and mental clarity...
Safety as well...

The warm sleepy feeling that envelopes us carries us away when we don't even realise it is happening ... pure magic and rare in my life ...

3am I found myself in a scorching hot shower washing my hair twice.... standing there and melting away the pains and aches from yesterday !!! It was a really tough day for me.

I put my best sheets on the bed they smell so lovely of fabric softener and bleach ..... white sheets only...........fresh crisp and cool.

Flannel pjs cotton tee and so sparkling clean ........ I sunk in and was carried away to dreamland and had sweet and beautiful dreams of loved ones........

Hallelujah..........