Damn......

You took me for granted
You took me, you took me for granted
But I landed back on my feet, back on
My feet
Cos you don't deserve me, deserve me
You don't have the time that I need
That I want, I deserve
But I got back my nerve
Did what was right for me
I'm using my head not my heart
And I'm starting new
I'm going to get over you, over you
I'm not important to you
I'm not important to you
I'm not important to you
I'm not important to you
You happy is all I wanted to see, is all
I wanted to see, to see
And so now that's what
I'm going to be, what I'm going to be
I'll waste some time on me
I gave you my all and you took it
I saw and you gave nothing back
Your mind on another track,
Another track, another track yeah
There are plenty of people out there
Who would care about me
You'll see
You'll see
I'm not important to you
I'm not important to you
I'm not important to you
I'm not important to you

Sia lyrics I'm not important to you...

Time for a little outing...

This weekend!
I need to blow off a little frenetic energy ...

NO MORE SHOPPING!!!

Pretty Things

Today I was at the trade show and ... shopping= Fun

I found some really great thing to add to the fleurs collection for Spring and Summer...

I love it when I am thinking of and buying for the warmer months ....

Here are a few newbies... I told you they were Pretty.

I have added a link to my business blog it is under construction so please bear with me ...I took down last years stuff...I wanted a change...

daily rituals

Simple and rejuvenating

streaky raccoon eyes and all

washing off the day is my key to survival...

Ultra Violet

Ok so I have been to the tanning booth to get some much needed UV>>>

My coffee stain birth marks were beginning to show up since my summer colour is all but gone ...

It also provided me with a really great photo playground....

peace...

A Little Peace

GRATEFUL...

So I have been navigating murky waters lately... " Shrugs"

I believe everything will turn out fine ... I know it will

I am feeling
so much better...... even though my house is smelling like a smoky
80's nightclub minus the beer smell ... it's only soot...

I am grateful that my family is so beautiful and they love me so...

I think that the 16 dream has way more significance than I originally thought............. here is a picture from my 16th year... BIGHAIR

I belong to me...

I belong to me...

You never told me in all the years if you love the curve of my mouth
or the little marks here and there only you know about.
there are allot of things I wonder did your choices feel good
you said you were thinking of me ....

Then there were the other things ...
that betrayal was not so bad it just made me throw up
the other things won't ever go away...


my lips have only brushed 4 mouths in all of my lifetime...
My whole body revealed only to one...
the sounds and sighs only to one.

I am broken and I feel ... angry
like no one will ever want me for me,
not ... intimately need to kiss me ,
breathe me in ,crawl through my dreams,
**** me, heal the scratches on my soul
lingering next to me so
I can cry away the pain ...

I need to be held to heal...
but it's not possible.

so I will always belong to me.

I told you that shit was bad for your health

Instant gratification microwave crap...... to eat.... my 19 year old incinerated a microwave snack......"see photo ".......... the smoke filled the whole main floor......and has begun to filter through to the upstairs... my room is right above the kitchen....stinky.....worst of all I have company arriving in an hour or so......

This is what happens when I go out and take care of business the kids go to the shops and buy crap( contraband) and almost burn the damn place down...uggggg just a part of life I suppose with three teenagers....

Now for the serious clean up...oh well a few days of stink and a small plate are not that serious I'm glad that was it.... :)

detoxing my life....

been staying in allot lately ....

actually since the cold weather set in.

At least my creative juices have been flowing ....

The reality of finding "peace" is within reach ...

if I detox...my life...truly

sixteen...

dreamt of the number the other day...

I got to thinking about the past, present and future...

1+6=7 perhaps ....my favorite numbers are 6 and 7

sixteen 16
this number is significant to me ...

The age I was when I married
The age I was when I left home
The age I was when I became a Mother

Anyways this reminds me of a specials song....

too much too young

Not that I subscribe to the negative version of it necessarily

I have no Idea how my parents allowed it

I would not... But... I would not change my past either

The next 16 years will be ones of creative force,

continued drive and discovery....

???

felt that heat rise up in my chest

arms went all numb

shaking,trembling

heart tumbling

Heartbreak Hotel

I'm sick of this place...

Got to keep moving

Smiling & chancing

Parked...

Tranference...

pulses of places ... infusions
light jumping and bouncing all around

dynamics play ...distortion too
read what you want, it's not all the same

pieces of me, you.
them and us ...

parked energy tapped
resisted not

inherited likeness
reading through.

Thought I'd Share For a Laugh...

This is actually on boxes

too funny...

There is Light all around...

Traffic lighting...

Those are not tears you see...

Magical sensational opportunistic emotions

dragged me down for weeks ...

pulled my hair and made me ache.

Remember how I told of tired bleeding out from within....no more sweet no more I want to sleep...

I am back and the lights are bright ...

nighttime will be brighter honey brighter and braver then ever before...

I will walk the halls, paint ...

when sleep escapes me with a smile ,a peace that I find in me ...

Love to you always & never the same ...

the ink dried a long time ago... the chains snapped in two

and our love crashed so loudly we were nearly deafened...

nearly...but I am hearing you now...and you me

finally friends we can be...

remember not to forget that anxiousness and tenderness exist

don't touch my heart that way ...cause it might still be sore.

Post marked...

Canadian forces mail 2007-12-14

Unopened till 2008-01-05

"Danger pay she scoffed is not why... adventure is why..."

"Always second best "she said in an e-mail only weeks before ...the only letter in years...

The latest letter...

Sent from Dubai post card of Emirates Towers ... (by night) it says...

"just to let you know I made it to Dubai" scrolled ever so neatly in all capital letters....god how it makes me remember ....the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain...written over and over again also the scribbles and scratches...no doubt a wandering mind...

by now my head hurts and I want to take an advil and push the letter back into the envelope

"

"I go to Kandahar on the 14th ,15th"

I know you must really be tasting the adventure by now...

much ado about nothing...

I have had several muses this week some dark and some light...

For fun here are some shots ...

back in the studio...

Here are some of the beauties that greeted me today...
The scent of fresh florals and greens ...
I love the scent especially after the stems are cut it is intensified

Divine truly...
Bad photos I know but who really gives a damn today about that...

Almost Speechless...

Almost...

A reminder

April showers bring May flowers....
This is a photo of my garden last spring.

Gutted

The calamity of heartache has me all upside down...
I wish that I could just disappear...maybe I already have. ( into 2d,reading,roaming ...)

I need to smell the floral cooler again get physical...back to work sincerly on Monday...it's time.

Anyways...

We stopped in the old town we had our store in for 6 years....on the 28th

A memory lane ....nightmare....The door was open so ...I let myself in..he finally followed...this is not what we had in mind revisiting old haunts...

We sadly discovered the place we have some

of our fondest memories .....also was not to remain unscathed.

1890's glory & some bitches had gutted it...

I am gutted .....just like my store....

perception

rushing past me like the wind
I can smell you faintly in the backround
my soul used to know yours
now I barely recognize you.

we are entangled forever
the fruits of our union..
slow down , get down
to let them look at you

show don't tell
relinquish
unhand
all that power

only for a few moments
and let your eyes
unburden ...