10.08.2009

Today



Today, this morning... I lay in bed thinking on the past.

You adored me and I felt safe with you!

The winding drive all stones ha, the steps also stones that lead to the flagstone porch... God we spent a million moments on it every summer...crying, laughing and story telling!

We sometimes never spoke... you knew my pain ... Understood... we just could be... those were my safest days and quietest moments in the early years of that nightmare part of my life.


I remember your gardens the rockery... flowers swaying in the hot summer breeze, watching the humming birds compete for nectar from the feeder you filled lovingly each morning.

While my infant slept and cooed in the shade beside us and the whipperwills sang!

Thinking about you today! I wonder Nana how many cups of Tea and how many kisses you planted on my forehead cheeks ... Hummm to many to count for sure!

I am grateful for the lessons and love!

I am grateful you played with the kids and fed them mashed potato you made and eggs with butter toast fingers, that you ALWAYS snuck a tiny bit of cadburys english chocolate in their little rosebud mouths...

The lovely presents and walks and black and white movies till 4am the love the love the love!

My Nana!Thanks Giving makes me think of you!

The way you always smelled so good and always had your arm around me!

How I wish you could meet my Aaron ... I am happy finally so happy!

That you could see I love my little loves so dear and they oh how they have grown.


I miss you love you too!Continue to RIP!

7.17.2009

I love hot humid summer days! The house smells so good the soapy smell from the shower is amazing!
Smells like holidays ...

6.09.2009

Wake my love, so I can go with you bask and give you salt water kisses
and oil baths...

Last night thunder clapped while I listened to your heartbeat.
I breathed in the sweet summer breath you breathe and the lightning revealed caressed skin...

5.28.2009

In the trunk of a car!!!
- tragically hip

Fucking Fuck! And I am grateful that you are not!

5.27.2009

While you held me ... I trembled...my soul beared to you, I swear I felt as if I left my fingerprints on cloud 9...

5.25.2009

A mother can and will cry a million salty tears to try and ease a childs pain...

The ache of your childs anguish burns like hells fire...

5.05.2009

First of many mobile blogs ha! This is a test!

3.06.2009

L A ... dreaming and memories...







You may think right away Hollywood Glitz and Glamour....sure it's there, we played a bit too...I am a girly girl love to dress up and feel sexy as much as the next woman.

However for me it was about soul!

The Ocean... rugged and rough sea pounding rocky sandy shores.... dreaming about painting on the beach... writing there ...making love in the sand mmmm
taking photos...diving...swimming, floating away in his arms while the water laps at the back of my neck caressing thoughts and encouraging primal creativity....ROAR

The crevices and little discoveries, and god... staring at the one I love while his soul is free completely free....

The mountains and breathtaking views... the endless possibilities...Freedom to explore and be explored!!! Driving hour after hour into the wee hours... feeling looked after, appreciated safe and cared for on every level...

We drove all over saw so much talked forever, laughed, played,loved even spilt happy tears and reflected ... made plans and it is a place I will always have some of the very best memories and experiences on a love,soulful, pure, gut opening and heady way...

I am so in Love so blessed,so healed...

I love coming home too... to our home smelling that smell of home being in our space with our cherished belongings and reveling in the best part of all I am with the most amazing part of my life

my
love my love my love...

2.11.2009

Today...



Today was a beautiful "Springlike" Day I think 60 degrees at some point and it's been happening off and on with bitterly cold days in between ... I'll take it.

I had errands to run but stayed and I walked around for 5 hours today happily window shopping clothing and home wares , kitchen gadgets, art antiques , jewelery etc...

Managing a little price break on Canal after negotiating with the vendor.

Met up with my love for coffee and his smile and arms felt so divine when he greeted me.

I wished I had the camera with me but I will be more diligent about that in the future

I rode the subway home in a very quiet sleepy thoughtful trance

TODAY